Film Review: Death Race 2000
The President of America has invented a new sport. Drivers race their cars from the west coast to the east coast; the winner is the driver with the most points. Oh but how do you score points? By RUNNING INNOCENT CIVILIANS OVER that’s how.
This film follows one of those drivers, his name is Frankstein and he wears a gimp suit, but that’s not the most stupid part. For some unknown reason one of his hands has gone missing. So what does Gimpsuit Frank replace his missing hand with? A prosthetic hand? A hook? No, a grenade but not just any old grenade, a hand grenade.
Throughout the film, the drivers are being killed off by the Resistance Fighters, a group of hippies who feel the race is morally wrong. But they don’t just shoot the drivers, that would be far too non-funny. On one occasion, a driver is speeding down a bridge and there is a pram on the road! This driver is about to bag himself 70 points! For running over a baby! He hits it! He explodes! He! wait what?… It turns out, the Resistance Fighters loaded the pram full of dynamite and no babies were harmed during the making of the film.
The drivers are paired up with a co-driver before the race. Unlucky for Gimpsuit Frank he is paired up with a female member of the Resistance Fighters. But not it worry, they both have sex and she soon finds out Gimpsuit Frank thinks the race is too morally wrong and that the only reason he has a hand grenade hand is because if he wins the race, he gets to meet the President and shake his hand…
But the only way he can win the race is to run over as many people as possible, so really, Gimpsuit Frank doesn’t know what the flying toss he is doing because he is a contradicting moron.
